Coming out• The process of a queer person becoming aware of his/her sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or intersex identity, and of letting other people know. This is a life- long, continual process because we live in a hetero-normative, gender-normative society. It is not uncommon for non-heterosexual people to be “out” to some people (e.g., certain friends, family) and not “out” to others (e.g., a boss, work colleagues). The decision to disclose one’s sexual orientation or gender identity should always be a personal decision – you should never out another person.
• The process of becoming aware of one’s trans identity, accepting it, and/or telling others about it; coming out is also used to refer to disclosing one’s non-heterosexual sexual orientation.
can be a difficult process. Many transgender• Sometimes used as an umbrella to describe anyone whose identity or behaviour falls outside of stereotypical gender norms. More narrowly defined, it refers to an individual whose gender identity does not match their assigned birth gender. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation (attraction to people of a specific gender). Therefore, transgender people may additionally identify with a variety of other sexual identities as well.
• An umbrella term used to include transsexual people, transvestites and cross-dressers, as in “the transgender community.”
• This is an umbrella term that applies to anyone who does not feel that their gender identity (e.g., identifying as male, female, or other) matches their anatomical/bio- logical sex.
• An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or expression differs from that of their sex assigned at birth. Transgender people may or may not alter their bodies to better fit with their gender identity through means such as hormones or surgery. Some intersex people identify as transgender but the two are not the same. Identities such as transsexual or transvestite are distinct sub-categories of transgender and should not be used as synonyms. Should only be used as an adjective e.g. ‘transgender people’. The word “Transgendered” is used by some people but its use is discouraged.
people worry about how other people will react and how they’ll treat them once they find out.
For many people, coming out• The process of a queer person becoming aware of his/her sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or intersex identity, and of letting other people know. This is a life- long, continual process because we live in a hetero-normative, gender-normative society. It is not uncommon for non-heterosexual people to be “out” to some people (e.g., certain friends, family) and not “out” to others (e.g., a boss, work colleagues). The decision to disclose one’s sexual orientation or gender identity should always be a personal decision – you should never out another person.
• The process of becoming aware of one’s trans identity, accepting it, and/or telling others about it; coming out is also used to refer to disclosing one’s non-heterosexual sexual orientation.
means that they can be honest about how they feel and not hide that part of themselves.
Realising that you’re trans
The first stage of coming out• The process of a queer person becoming aware of his/her sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or intersex identity, and of letting other people know. This is a life- long, continual process because we live in a hetero-normative, gender-normative society. It is not uncommon for non-heterosexual people to be “out” to some people (e.g., certain friends, family) and not “out” to others (e.g., a boss, work colleagues). The decision to disclose one’s sexual orientation or gender identity should always be a personal decision – you should never out another person.
• The process of becoming aware of one’s trans identity, accepting it, and/or telling others about it; coming out is also used to refer to disclosing one’s non-heterosexual sexual orientation.
is acknowledging to yourself how you feel about your gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
. This isn’t always straightforward.
Some trans• Trans is an umbrella term used to describe people whose lives appear to conflict with the gender norms of society. Whether this is in their clothing, in presenting themselves or undergoing hormone treatment and surgery. Being trans does not imply any specific sexual orientation.
• Trans is an umbrella term that describes a wide range of people whose gender and/or gender expression differ from their assigned sex and/or the societal and cultural expectations of their assigned sex; includes people who are androgyne, agender, bigender, butch, CAFAB, CAMAB, cross-dresser, drag king, drag queen, femme, FTM, gender creative, gender fluid, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, gender variant, MTF, pangender, questioning, trans, trans man, trans woman, transfeminine, transgender, transmasucline, transsexual, and two-spirit.
people feel clear about their gender identity• One’s innermost concept of self as male or female or both or neither – how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. One’s gender identity can be the same or different than the sex assigned at birth. Individuals are conscious of this between the ages 18 months and 3 years. Most people develop a gender identity that matches their biological sex. For some, however, their gender identity is different from their biological or assigned sex. Some of these individuals choose to socially, hormonally and/or surgically change their sex to more fully match their gender identity.
• The gender to which one feels one belongs.
• Internal and psychological sense of oneself as a woman, a man, both, in between, or neither.
from a young age. But for others, it’s less obvious, and how they feel about their gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
may shift over time.
Acknowledging how you feel about yourself sometimes involves overcoming feelings of shame, guilt or fear of disapproval.
If you feel a persistent discomfort about your gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
and you can’t work it out on your own, psychological therapy or counselling may help. Ask your GP what help is available in your area.
Who to tell about coming out as trans
When you’re coming out• The process of a queer person becoming aware of his/her sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or intersex identity, and of letting other people know. This is a life- long, continual process because we live in a hetero-normative, gender-normative society. It is not uncommon for non-heterosexual people to be “out” to some people (e.g., certain friends, family) and not “out” to others (e.g., a boss, work colleagues). The decision to disclose one’s sexual orientation or gender identity should always be a personal decision – you should never out another person.
• The process of becoming aware of one’s trans identity, accepting it, and/or telling others about it; coming out is also used to refer to disclosing one’s non-heterosexual sexual orientation.
for the first time, it’s best to tell someone who you trust and who will be supportive and understanding. This may be a close friend, a parent, a partner or another relative.
Coming out as trans positively
TransBareAll and The Gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
Trust, both organisations that support trans• Trans is an umbrella term used to describe people whose lives appear to conflict with the gender norms of society. Whether this is in their clothing, in presenting themselves or undergoing hormone treatment and surgery. Being trans does not imply any specific sexual orientation.
• Trans is an umbrella term that describes a wide range of people whose gender and/or gender expression differ from their assigned sex and/or the societal and cultural expectations of their assigned sex; includes people who are androgyne, agender, bigender, butch, CAFAB, CAMAB, cross-dresser, drag king, drag queen, femme, FTM, gender creative, gender fluid, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, gender variant, MTF, pangender, questioning, trans, trans man, trans woman, transfeminine, transgender, transmasucline, transsexual, and two-spirit.
people, offer the following tips:
- Make contact with other people in a similar situation because this can build your confidence. If you know people who would understand, you’ll be in a better position to tell others.
- Try to act confidently even if you don’t feel confident.
- Talk to people you trust, and don’t tell everyone at once.
- Be prepared for questions, and make sure that you have as much information as possible to answer questions.
- If you tell someone who is close to you and they have a negative reaction, give them space. Try to put yourself in the position of the people you tell, especially partners. Your news can affect how they feel about themselves and about their sexuality, as well as how they feel about you.
- Be patient but persistent if you want someone to call you by a different name and pronoun.
- Work out what’s right for you, not what’s right for other trans• Trans is an umbrella term used to describe people whose lives appear to conflict with the gender norms of society. Whether this is in their clothing, in presenting themselves or undergoing hormone treatment and surgery. Being trans does not imply any specific sexual orientation.
• Trans is an umbrella term that describes a wide range of people whose gender and/or gender expression differ from their assigned sex and/or the societal and cultural expectations of their assigned sex; includes people who are androgyne, agender, bigender, butch, CAFAB, CAMAB, cross-dresser, drag king, drag queen, femme, FTM, gender creative, gender fluid, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, gender variant, MTF, pangender, questioning, trans, trans man, trans woman, transfeminine, transgender, transmasucline, transsexual, and two-spirit.
people. Be open to your feelings and needs changing over time.
After coming out as trans
“By the time you decide to come out, you’ve already had time to process how you feel,” says Jay McNeil of TransBareAll.
“You need to give other people time too. It’s unrealistic to expect those who are close to you to come to terms with it immediately.
“But when other people do accept who you are, it really helps your self-esteem.”
Coming out if you decide to transition
If you decide to transition• The social, psychological, emotional and economic processes that a trans person undergoes to move from their assigned gender role into their chosen or acquired gender. The time this takes is variable and depends on the individual’s ability to embrace significant change in their life. If requiring genital surgery the individual will have to undergo a so called Real Life Test, i.e. living in their acquired gender role for a minimum of 1 year.
• Refers to the process during which trans people may change their gender expression and/or bodies to reflect their gender, including changes in physical appearance (hairstyle, clothing), behaviour (mannerisms, voice, gender roles), identification (name, pronoun, legal details), and/or medical interventions (hormone therapy, gender-affirming surgery).
(live full-time in another gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
), coming out• The process of a queer person becoming aware of his/her sexual orientation, gender identity, and/or intersex identity, and of letting other people know. This is a life- long, continual process because we live in a hetero-normative, gender-normative society. It is not uncommon for non-heterosexual people to be “out” to some people (e.g., certain friends, family) and not “out” to others (e.g., a boss, work colleagues). The decision to disclose one’s sexual orientation or gender identity should always be a personal decision – you should never out another person.
• The process of becoming aware of one’s trans identity, accepting it, and/or telling others about it; coming out is also used to refer to disclosing one’s non-heterosexual sexual orientation.
involves more than just telling the people who are close to you.
Unless you move to a new area, you’ll have to tell almost everyone you know, from family and friends to work colleagues. Transition• The social, psychological, emotional and economic processes that a trans person undergoes to move from their assigned gender role into their chosen or acquired gender. The time this takes is variable and depends on the individual’s ability to embrace significant change in their life. If requiring genital surgery the individual will have to undergo a so called Real Life Test, i.e. living in their acquired gender role for a minimum of 1 year.
• Refers to the process during which trans people may change their gender expression and/or bodies to reflect their gender, including changes in physical appearance (hairstyle, clothing), behaviour (mannerisms, voice, gender roles), identification (name, pronoun, legal details), and/or medical interventions (hormone therapy, gender-affirming surgery).
involves being accepted in your new gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
by those around you.
TranssexualThis is typically used to describe people who identify as transgender who are transitioning toward the gender with which they identify. This may include socially presenting (e.g., clothing, hair, mannerisms, overall gender expression) as the gender with which they identify, or it may include more extensive changes like taking hormones and/or surgical procedures to modify their body. people who want to transition• The social, psychological, emotional and economic processes that a trans person undergoes to move from their assigned gender role into their chosen or acquired gender. The time this takes is variable and depends on the individual’s ability to embrace significant change in their life. If requiring genital surgery the individual will have to undergo a so called Real Life Test, i.e. living in their acquired gender role for a minimum of 1 year.
• Refers to the process during which trans people may change their gender expression and/or bodies to reflect their gender, including changes in physical appearance (hairstyle, clothing), behaviour (mannerisms, voice, gender roles), identification (name, pronoun, legal details), and/or medical interventions (hormone therapy, gender-affirming surgery).
but haven’t yet had gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
realignment treatment face specific difficulties. They may have started taking steps to “pass” in their chosen gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
, such as in the way they dress, but find it difficult to convince people that they’re a particular gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
because they may still look and sound like another gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
.
Living full-time in a different gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
usually means changing your name. People will have to change the way they talk about you, for instance referring to you as ‘he’ rather than ‘she’ or ‘she’ instead of ‘he’. Sooner or later, you’ll have to update your records with organisations such as the DVLA, the passport office, the tax office, banks and insurance companies.
Changing your name after transition
To update your records, many organisations or official bodies will ask you to provide evidence that you’ve formally changed your name. The most straightforward way to do this is by obtaining a statutory declaration.
Some people who transition• The social, psychological, emotional and economic processes that a trans person undergoes to move from their assigned gender role into their chosen or acquired gender. The time this takes is variable and depends on the individual’s ability to embrace significant change in their life. If requiring genital surgery the individual will have to undergo a so called Real Life Test, i.e. living in their acquired gender role for a minimum of 1 year.
• Refers to the process during which trans people may change their gender expression and/or bodies to reflect their gender, including changes in physical appearance (hairstyle, clothing), behaviour (mannerisms, voice, gender roles), identification (name, pronoun, legal details), and/or medical interventions (hormone therapy, gender-affirming surgery).
decide to apply for a Gender Recognition• The legal recognition of an individuals acquired gender as the opposite of the sex assigned at birth.
• Usually once a person has begun the process of transitioning, pronouns that are appropriate to the gender towards which he or she is transitioning should be used.
Certificate. Official gender recognition• The legal recognition of an individuals acquired gender as the opposite of the sex assigned at birth.
• Usually once a person has begun the process of transitioning, pronouns that are appropriate to the gender towards which he or she is transitioning should be used.
means that you must be treated as a person of your new gender• However gender is far more complicated. It is the complex interrelationship between an individual’s sex (gender biology), one’s internal sense of self as male, female, both or neither (gender identity) as well as one’s outward presentations and behaviours (gender expression) related to that perception, including their gender role. Together, the intersection of these three dimensions produces one’s authentic sense of gender, both in how people experience their own gender as well as how others perceive it.
• Gender is expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is largely culturally determined and is assigned at birth based on the sex of the individual. It affects how people perceive themselves and how they expect others to behave.
• Socially and culturally constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of girls, women, boys, men, and trans people.
for all legal purposes.
Source – http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transcomingout.aspx
Page last reviewed: 05/07/2013.